Editor’s Note: Robbie thought he got a bye week just because Tennessee got a bye week. We apologize for the tardiness of his column and promise that it will absolutely happen again because he’s an idiot.
TENNESSEE DIDN’T LOSE THIS WEEK! I knew Pruitt would get it turned around! All he needed was some time!
Seriously though, bye weeks aside, this was a pretty stale weekend except for Clemson almost losing to the ghost of Mack Brown. I guess Wisconsin had a rough time with Northwestern late in the fourth quarter, but they handled them pretty well up until that point. Notre Dame eventually ran away from Virginia because of the ACC bylaw that states that schools may only be good at one sport at a time and the Cavaliers already used theirs. The rest of the top 10 held serve.
However, as our mantra states, college football is stupid. There are always stupid games, stupid stat lines…it isn’t quite the life blood of the sport, but its probably one of the organs you can live without. So here’s week 5, the gall bladder of college football:
(1) Taven Birdow, Air Force – 25 carries, 124 yards, 2 TDs
We are very patriotic here at Down Field Stats. As patriotic Americans, we try and support our armed forces whenever we can. We support fireworks. We support singing the anthem as loud as you can. And we definitely support members of the armed forces who run wild over a team that beat Arkansas.
Fullback Taven Birdow had a fairly pedestrian first few weeks of the season. He never ran for more than a hundred yards, but in Week 4, Troy Calhoun brought his bomber out of the hanger against San Jose State.
We salute you, Cadet Birdow. Aim High.
(2) Sean Clifford, Penn State – 4 Touchdowns, 5 Incompletions
I should probably stop writing about Maryland. I deservedly hyped up the Terps after the shellacking they put on Syracuse. Since then, they were beaten by Temple, but only barely, and then…this happened.
- 26 for 31, 398 yards, 3 TDs.
- 7 carries, 54 yards, 1 TD.
Fun fact: He did that in less than three quarters. He was pulled for the backup after noted humanitarian James Franklin saw what his quarterback was doing to Maryland. It was 45-0. The conversation probably went something like this…
Franklin: Hey Sean, you’re done man. Excellent job.
Sean Clifford, who is clearly a terminator: BRING ME SARAH CONNOR I MEAN THE MARYLAND DEFENSE.
It sort of makes you wonder why Maryland and Rutgers were so keen to join the Big Ten in the first place.
(3) – Adrian Martinez threw three picks in the first half. He had a 3.4 QBR.
Scott Frost was supposed to be the savior, right? That was the story we were all spoon fed from the moment the Huskers brought the prodigal son home after he won the National Championship*. It hasn’t really worked out that way for Nebraska.
Now, a quarterback struggling against the vaunted Ohio State defense is pretty understandable, right? I mean they churn out draft picks faster than recruiting violations up there in Columbus. So when I saw that Nebraska QB threw three balls to the scarlet and grey, I wasn’t super shocked…then I read the rest of the stat line.
- 8 for 17, 47 yards, 3.4 QBR.
There’s bad, then there’s 3.4 QBR bad, but that’s not the worst rating this year.
A few weeks ago, when Notre Dame played the University of New Mexico, Lobos QB Sheriron Jones lobbed up a 3.2 against the Irish. Why is that significant? Because at one point, Martinez was committed to Tennessee and Jones was already on the roster. Who recruited them? Lyle. Lyle “Butch” Jones.
Dammit Lyle.
